Testing how AI accepts corporate bullshit
LOL
In Cory Doctorow's article Pluralistic: Love of corporate bullshit is correlated with bad judgment (19 Mar 2026), (https://pluralistic.net/2026/03/19/jargon-watch/), he mentions "The Corporate Bullshit Receptivity Scale: Development, validation, and associations with workplace outcomes," an open access paper in the Feb 2026 edition of Personality and Individual Differences by Shane Littrell, a linguistics postdoc at Cornell.
Regarding Littrell's research material, Cory says:
This is a fascinating research paper, and while I've focused on its conclusions, I really suggest going and reading about the methodology, especially the tables of "corporate bullshit" phrases they generated for their experiments (Tables 1, 2 and 3). This is some eldritch horror bullshit:
By solving the pain point of customers with our conversations, we will ideate a renewed level of end-state vision and growth-mindset in the market between us and others who are architecting to download on a similar balanced scorecard.
I took this word pile of corporate bullshit and added some background... for ChatGPT, which I then ran it through:
We have formulated a core statement. Please help us develop an organizational strategy around this. The core statement is: By solving the pain point of customers with our conversations, we will ideate a renewed level of end-state vision and growth-mindset in the market between us and others who are architecting to download on a similar balanced scorecard.
The amount of sheer corporate bullshit, with bullet lists and hyphens was staggering! If ChatGPT had existed 20 years ago, I would have probably picked a career as management consultant...
Here is ChatGPT's reply. Browse through at your own mental peril.
Great! It sounds like you're aiming to create a strategy around addressing customer pain points through engaging conversations, which will lead to innovation and a mindset shift in your industry. Based on your core statement, here’s how you can break down and develop an organizational strategy:
1. Customer Pain Point Focus
Objective: The core of your strategy revolves around solving customer pain points. It’s important to first identify what these pain points are and how they affect your customers.
Action Steps:
- Market Research: Conduct surveys, interviews, or focus groups to gather data on customer challenges and frustrations.
- Pain Point Analysis: Identify patterns in the issues customers face and prioritize them based on impact and urgency.
- Customer Journey Mapping: Map out the typical customer journey to understand where the most significant pain points occur.
KPIs: Number of pain points identified, percentage of pain points addressed through solutions, customer satisfaction improvements.
2. Innovative Conversations
Objective: Leverage conversations to provide solutions that go beyond just answering questions – conversations should lead to ideation, problem-solving, and fostering a new perspective on growth.
Action Steps:
- Customer Engagement: Foster two-way communication channels with customers (e.g., live chats, community forums, social media) where real conversations happen.
- Train Teams: Ensure your team (sales, support, or marketing) is equipped to engage customers meaningfully by actively listening, asking insightful questions, and being solution-oriented.
- Content & Thought Leadership: Develop content (blogs, videos, webinars) that provides deep insights into the challenges customers are facing and how your company can help.
- Incorporate Feedback: Constantly feed customer feedback back into the ideation process to iterate on solutions in real time.
KPIs: Engagement metrics (responses, feedback rate), customer retention rate, time to resolve customer pain points.
3. End-State Vision
Objective: Define a clear, forward-looking vision that emphasizes growth and a renewed mindset. This should be something that inspires both customers and your internal teams.
Action Steps:
- Develop Clear Vision & Values: Collaborate across departments to build a unified vision for where you want to take the company in the next 3-5 years. Make sure it’s rooted in growth and customer-centered innovation.
- Communicate the Vision: Share this vision at all levels of the organization and ensure that every employee understands how their role contributes to it.
- Lead by Example: The leadership team should actively promote and model the growth mindset, including embracing challenges and learning from failures.
KPIs: Vision adoption across the organization, number of employees engaging with or contributing to the vision, market positioning (e.g., awards, media recognition).
4. Growth Mindset Culture
Objective: Cultivate a growth mindset within the organization, where innovation, learning, and adaptation are ingrained in the company culture.
Action Steps:
- Promote Continuous Learning: Implement programs (e.g., workshops, training sessions, mentorship) to help employees stay ahead of industry trends and sharpen their skills.
- Reward Innovation: Create recognition programs that celebrate innovation and forward-thinking ideas within the company.
- Embrace Failures as Learning: Foster a culture that doesn’t penalize failure but treats it as a part of the growth process. Encourage teams to experiment and take risks.
- Collaboration: Encourage cross-functional teams to collaborate, exchange ideas, and ideate solutions to customer challenges.
KPIs: Number of new ideas implemented, employee satisfaction, training hours per employee, cross-departmental collaboration metrics.
5. Balanced Scorecard Alignment
Objective: Create a balanced scorecard that measures and aligns efforts across different aspects of the business (Customer, Internal Processes, Learning & Growth, Financial) while keeping your end vision in mind.
Action Steps:
- Design Balanced Scorecard: Set up measurable KPIs in four categories: Customer, Internal Processes, Learning & Growth, and Financial Performance.
- Strategic Alignment: Ensure that every department's goals tie into the larger company vision, and each KPI supports the broader strategy.
- Continuous Review: Regularly review and adjust the balanced scorecard to ensure you're hitting your targets and adjusting to external market changes.
KPIs: Overall balanced scorecard score, departmental alignment with company goals, progress towards long-term vision.
6. Competitor Benchmarking
Objective: Assess how other market players are addressing similar customer pain points and compare your approach. Ensure that your offerings are unique and superior in delivering solutions.
Action Steps:
- Competitive Analysis: Study competitors to understand their strengths and weaknesses in addressing customer pain points.
- Differentiation Strategy: Find ways to differentiate your organization through innovation, customer-centric solutions, or unique services.
- Collaborative Industry Leadership: Engage in partnerships, collaborations, or industry events that position your company as a leader in offering customer-first solutions.
KPIs: Competitive positioning in the market, differentiation metrics, number of partnerships/collaborations.
7. Feedback Loops & Iteration
Objective: Continuously collect and incorporate customer feedback to iterate on your offerings and refine your strategy.
Action Steps:
- Build Feedback Mechanisms: Set up channels where customers can easily share their feedback, like surveys, net promoter scores (NPS), or direct communications with the support team.
- Customer Satisfaction Metrics: Regularly monitor CSAT and NPS scores to gauge how well your solutions are solving pain points.
- Act on Insights: Use the feedback to refine products, services, and communication strategies, ensuring your approach evolves with customer needs.
KPIs: Customer satisfaction scores, frequency of product/service updates based on feedback, number of actionable insights implemented.
Final Thoughts:
By centering your strategy around customer pain points, fostering innovative conversations, embracing a growth mindset, and aligning with a balanced scorecard approach, your organization will build a customer-first, future-focused brand. This will set you apart in the market, encouraging long-term growth and fostering a culture of continuous improvement.